Chapter 004 - [Accidental Voice]/[Action]/[Video] - Luceti Valley Lifetime

[consultmybooks]

Giles dreams again that night.

Buffy doesn't feature as largely in them this time around, although she is still quite prominent. It's almost as though, by speaking with her, he's partially satisfied whatever desires his malfunctioning mind was trying to process last night. Tonight, other horrors play themselves out in his subconscious.

Willow is alive again, but now she's twisted and dark and broken. They fight, and Giles is more powerful than he's ever dreamed of being, but Willow is stronger and she mocks him - "Hurt me? Boy, you just don't get it, do you? Nothing can hurt me anymore. This? Is nothing. It's all...nothing." And his own daughter all but destroys him.

He's being tortured again, but Helios isn't there. He's alone, and the figure standing before him doesn't belong to the Third Party because he has no wings on his back. And he hurts worse than he can ever remembering hurting, but Giles says nothing. At least until Jenny kisses him. Then he says everything, and waits for the world to end until Xander comes to rescue him, sarcastic and sardonic as ever - "Then why would they make you see me?"

Buffy is crying, and he can't console her, but sometimes they're in a library and sometimes they're in a training hall and  and sometimes he's poisoned her and sometimes she's begging him not to abandon her. And sometimes they're in the training hall together and they're laughing together like nothing's wrong even though everything is wrong and they both know it. And sometimes she's slamming a door in his face with her last, cold words ringing in his ears - "I think you've taught me enough."

And sometimes he's with a girl he doesn't know, a girl who's tall and dark haired and powerful. And they go everywhere together, to places he's never imagined existing outside of a book and sometimes not even then. And they fight, there's always fighting, and they win no matter how much it hurts them. And he pulls her free from the maw of a monster even as he leaves another man to die.

There's a war, worse than anything they've ever experienced at the hands of the Third Party. Innocent girls die. The sky tears itself open and horrors pour forth to tear the world asunder. Giles is holding the dark haired girl close to him as they do. Buffy isn't there

He wakes up with a gasp that becomes a sob. But a sob is better than a scream. And then Giles just lays there for a second in his own bed in his own room, listening to the sound of his heart racing. He tries to take in the familiar details of the room, tries to put his mind through all the paces Paprika once taught him to make night terrors less terrifying. It's not the first time he's had dreams this vivid and wrong.

But this night and the last have definitely been the worst.

Knowing that he's not going to be getting any more sleep tonight, Giles gets himself dressed as quietly as he can and leaves his room. Courtesy and care for his flatmates means that he's quiet as he can be, distressed as he is. They might still hear him. They might already have heard him. But Giles does his best, ducking out to the kitchen to make tea and closing the front door softly behind him.

The tea doesn't help, doesn't calm, doesn't soothe. The scent of the rising steam just makes him remember his dreams more powerfully, words and captured snapshots rising to his mind even as he tries to forget them, tries to let them fade into nothing like dreams should. His hands start to shake, until finally one wrong move knocks the mug over, spilling tea all over the table.

Giles' journal, sitting nearby, turns itself on in time for anyone still conscious to hear Giles swear at the mess before hurrying to grab enough paper towels to clean it up.]

Damn it!

[Silence for another few seconds, the quiet of the last calm before a storm. When Giles' voice comes over the journal again, he sounds as though he's desperately trying not to break down.]

I'm not insane. I'm not, I can't be...

This is ridiculous. I don't want to save the world. I can't even take care of my own children.

This isn't like Halloween. This isn't the same.

Why is this happening now?

[The relative quiet is broken by the sound of the mug shattering, Giles having just hurled it violently against the nearest wall. The accidental transmission ends there.

He spends the rest of the night working on the boat. It's positioned far enough away from the back of CH7 to hopefully not disturb anyone this late. Exhaustion and anxiety mean that Giles makes a  few mistakes in his work, but not many. It isn't the first time he's had to build a boat, after all.

The sun has started to rise before he picks up his journal again, and this time it's to turn on the video function. Anyone who notices the feed will see that Giles appears to have it trained on some sort of...creature, while standing at a respectable distance. The creature is monster, in every sense of the word. The beast is sniffing around at the edge of the treeline, paying him no need at first. Even when it does finally look up at him, it's only to let out a threatening growl. Giles flinches back - the beast returns to whatever is occupying its attention and, in a few minutes, has made its way deeper into the forest.

Giles doesn't follow - his voice over the journal is a mixture of hushed fascination and fear.]

My god...

Comments

[ video ]

[herotypical]

...Giles?

[ so much apprehension. she doesn't even think to call him rupert anymore. how could she after hearing the things she's heard in her own voice? giles, i'm sixteen years old. i don't want to die. ]

What is that? [ in her home, her fingers twitch. there are weapons at the foot of her bed in a chest. weapons she hasn't used in a while. ]

Re: [ video ]

[consultmybooks]

I'm afraid your guess is as good as mine right now, Buffy.

[So much apprehension. That thing could tear his throat out if it decides he's too close again.]

[herotypical]

Where are you?

[ because she remembers weaponing-up to safe him before. or she dreamt it. or something. ]

[consultmybooks]

Behind Building 7. Where it backs onto the forest.

[And he left his sword back upstairs. But Giles can't shake the sense of morbid, macabre fascination as he watches the beast. It's that, more than anything, that's keeping him there despite the fear.]

voice; filtered 100%

[byakkoyagirl.livejournal.com]

[If this was a more casual occasion she would crack a joke like 'Well if you were insane you should have told me!' or 'It's April, of course it's not Halloween'. But, no. That wasn't the time for this.]

Breathe Rupert. In and out. [And yes she's using his first name, so you know she's serious about this.]

Re: voice; filtered 100%

[consultmybooks]

[He breaths in. And out. Paprika never calls him by his first name. So the sound is enough of a shock to bring him slightly further back down to Earth. It doesn't take the shaking out of his voice, though.]

...I didn't mean to wake you.

voice; filtered 100%

[byakkoyagirl.livejournal.com]

Don't worry, I never sleep.

[Okay that's just a joke, but it's the only one she'll make.]

Are you okay?

Re: voice; filtered 100%

[consultmybooks]

[Giles takes a second to double check Paprika's filter - more for a way to stall than anything else, she's always been good at filtering.]

They should only be dreams, I don't know why they're so...upsetting.

They're even more nonsensical than most of my bad dreams tend to be, after all.

[simplestgift]

Rupert?

Voice or video?

[consultmybooks]

Kennedy.

Didn't expect to hear you up this early.

Voice, sorry

[simplestgift]

I like rising early. Is everything all right?

[Voice]

[semper_cogitans]

[Robert had dreamed again, too. He'd dreamed of the metal city again, with a beautiful tall building - impossibly tall - with giant humming globes that reminded him of Artemis' high-voltage coils set into stands ringing its perimeter. And every so often a pleasant voice, not a human voice but nearly so, saying "Welcome to the Randi Institute"...

And he knew he was supposed to be there, wherever there was.

He remembered - because suddenly it felt like remembering, not dreaming - other things too, other places. Some kind of room full of equipment, thousands and thousands of glowing consoles; a little apartment much like his own in Luceti Valley, but with smooth curves where there should have been angles and technology that he'd never seen; a tiny flattened computer - nanocomputer - that made the air above it a picture...

And more needles. Always more needles. Always more of that place, that place that he couldn't help but need to go back to even as that need began to terrify him.

Wrong violence is wrong - there was never war - don't fight it's wrong what are you doing - there was no Third Party - you aren't good enough for him...

And that strange Luceti Valley again. He was remembering more of it now. He was remembering people and places - the cherry trees, I was there with Don and he told me he killed a man - that had never happened in this reality. Never should have happened. Wouldn't have made sense.

... And then this. Then this... panic...

Rupert... ... Giles needs him. They need each other.]

R-Rupert... The dreams...

... Memories... They don't feel like dreams anymore.

[Desperately:] I-I... I can come over. If, if you need somebody to talk to. [I need it as much as you do.] O-or we don't have to, I just...

... Rupert, what do we do?

Re: [Voice]

[consultmybooks]

They're only dreams, Robert. Not memories. No matter how real they seem. [Giles' voice is harsher than he'd like, but having that kind of doubt introduced into his life right now sets his hackles rising. Willow and Xander are dead. Buffy is just his cousin. He is not strong enough to fight a war or save the world. Thinking otherwise leads to madness. He knows that all too well.

There's a sigh and a long pause.]

You can come over, if you want. I'm just in the kitchen.

[Voice/Action]

[semper_cogitans]

[He knows he's being irrational. Dreams like this aren't impossible. Dreams construct things you want from your subconscious. It's only natural for him to want a world with no war, want better technology, want a place where he belongs, want Helios to like him and Vivi to be his daughter...

The rest is probably just strangeness, of some kind...

He presses a hand heavily to his face.]

...

I apologize. I can't think straight, it seems. But you're right. They can't be memories... because they never happened.

[Right?]

And you're certain you're alright...? I mean, b-besides this infernal Shift - that's what it has to be...

... I'll come over, then. [And in a moment, he's out the door, tracing the familiar steps to wherever Giles lives the mun can't remember ahh, the ones he's taken a thousand times before for less-terrifying reasons.

He tries to push the remaining wispy memories of the dream out of his head as he does, but he can't stop thinking about them.]

[Voice]

[goldenglasses]

Dad...? [You're son is rather worried.]

Re: [Voice]

[consultmybooks]

Vash...[Children are not supposed to be up this late. Even if children happen to be as old as Vash.]

I'm all right.

[Private/Voice]

[goldenglasses]

[You're not the only one with strange dreams. Although his aren't so bad so far.] You don't sound very all right.

[Voice]

[no-use-running.livejournal.com]

Papa? Are you really alright?

[Your daughter is worried, Giles. And she is your daughter, she's here.]

Re: [Voice]

[consultmybooks]

[...Giles sends a quiet, unspoken apology to Jenny. He knows their children didn't get this rampant insomnia from her.]

...it was just some strange dreams, Ami.

[Voice]

[no-use-running.livejournal.com]

Do you need anything? To help you get back to sleep?

[Ami sleeps lightly. And practically has a danger sense when it comes to her loved ones.]

[action]

[folklorist]

[ Having his own dreams makes it very hard to sleep especially since they're rather horrible. Nightmares would be a better term in all honesty. He was laying in bed wide awake when he heard that mug crash into the wall, flinching almost at the sound. That definately gets him up and he might even go out to try and find his brother. He can't leave such actions, especially by Giles, alone; frankly he doesn't want to be alone right now. Whatever excuse he can come up with to get out of the apartment he will. So bro Helios manages to find you out back his own expression one of weary nightmare latent fear. His night has obviously been just as bad as Giles' and it clearly shows. He doesn't say anything yet and his head is downcast deep in thought and probably unhealthy so. But he will make his way towards his brother almost in slight trepidation. He shouldn't bother his brother with such nonsense. He should probably go back inside and try to sleep--but he really doesn't want to. He's torn and just...standing there silently not saying a word. They were just dreams, right? Nothing like that ever happened, it couldn't have happened...

The blood, so much blood, the demon towering over him as he held her dead lifeless body in his arms. No...it was just dreams but what caused them and why were they so specific? ]

Re: [action]

[consultmybooks]

[It takes Giles a second, as he stares blindly at the shattered remains of the mug against the wall, before he's aware that he's not alone. He tilts his head slightly, sees Helios standing in the doorway, and almost immediately he looks away. The sight of Helios standing there, so distressed and scared, is almost physically painful.

Giles wants so very much to shake the nightmare off, pretend it was nothing, put on a brave face for his little brother who so obviously needs his help right now. But the dreams are still too heavy in his mind, and the worst part is almost not who was there but who wasn't. His brother and his sisters who he still depends on for so much, all gone and with no sign to even suggest that they'd belonged at all.

Giles can trust Paprika with his weakness, but not Helios. Not when his weakness broke Helios so badly that they're still trying to patch him back together.

Finally, he takes a deep, shuddering breath and slowly lets it out. His voice is quiet and hiding his own very real anxieties. And he still doesn't look back at Helios when he finally speaks.]

...do you want some tea?

[action]

[folklorist]

[ Helios blinks almost as if he didn't hear the other, almost as if he didn't even register that Giles was in the room. The nightmares are still all too vivid in his mind making his awareness only half in the present. He fidgets noting that they're both avoiding eye contact. A brief pause before he takes a shaky seat in a chair, an equally shaky sigh escaping his lips as he does so.

Tea sounds good, tea won't make it better though. But it's a comfort he can't afford to deny himself right now. There's a very long pause from the time Giles asks that question to when Helios replies. The reply is barely above a mumbled whisper. ] That sounds good, yes.

[voice]

[thedicearecast.livejournal.com]

[She's turned her journal on to reply, but for a long while Amelia can only manage silence. This man is her father, and she loves him. Even with their differences, with the way they disagree over who Amelia's chosen, she's got no reason for what she felt in the dreams. He isn't the one responsible for Mom's suffering, or her death.

But still it lingers, that deep-rooted sense that this man has taken everything from her, because he's her father. When she does finally manage words, they sound forced because they are--she's just too tired, almost unable to will out anything at all.]

Are you okay?

Re: [voice]

[consultmybooks]

[And Amelia makes three. He doesn't expect to hear anything from Vivi, even though deep down he knew damn well he'd be hearing from Vash. And, as always after a dream like this, he feels better for knowing that the three of them are safe and still here, that they aren't gone like Willow and Xander and Jenny.

But for all that, he's not so wrapped up in his own misery that he can't hear the evident stress in Amelia's voice.]

I just broke my mug, Amelia. I'm fine.