consultmybooks | [Voicemail]

This post here is for personal conversations which should happen but one or both of us doesn't want to put up a new post/log and thus we will just thread it out here. It is also good for follow ups to other threads or to play out reactions to other threads that might not occur immediately at the time of the journal post. This can be used to thread with

consultmybooks anytime and anywhere. This can either be in person (with action), or via the journal's call feature (voice and/or written).

When replying to this post please mark in the subject line when and how it is taking place, in the style of the following examples:

[Action, March 11th]
[Voice, September 8th]
[Written, June 10th]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

consultmybooks

...I was afraid you'd say that.

[He's not going so far as to pull away, Ginia, but Giles would definitely appreciate some additional space right now.]

From:

shadedsunlight

[The quietness of his voice, the slight change in expression and posture, Ginia is the one who moves back, giving them both space. Was that the wrong thing to say, the wrong idea to even suggest? She could kick herself if she's ruined what they have.]

/I'm sorry, look, it's fine, if you aren't, if this isn't that kind of...

...Talk to me, Giles./

From:

consultmybooks

...right. Yes.

Talk.

[He reaches out to take her hand. Then Giles looks around at the path around them, before his gaze finally comes to rest on a tree just a few feet away. Building 7 is a darker shadow against all the other shadows, this should be safe. He gives her hand a light tug towards it.]

...you'll, um, you'll have to be patient with me.

From:

shadedsunlight

[She nods and takes his hand, squeezing gently, following.]

/However long you need, Giles./

From:

consultmybooks

[He draws her down to sit next to him, keeping a light hold on her hand. For several seconds, he seems utterly lost, no idea of how to start or what to do. Finally, shamefaced, he asks:]

...why now?

From:

shadedsunlight

[Ginia sits next to him, still holding her hand. Her gaze turns up to the sky, as if she could draw some sort of inspiration or the right words from whoever or whatever might be up there.]</small. /Why not now? I mean... well... no, why not now? I admit I've given the idea some thought. It's natural when your partner is a very attractive person with all the right traits./

From:

consultmybooks

Is it? W-Well, no, I...suppose it is. It's just, um, y-you have to remember I'm, well, woefully out, out of practice at...all of this, Ginia. Being with, with...anyone, and...

[He sighs, seeming to fold in on himself a little.]

...and it's complicated, and it's a dreadfully long story, and I was hoping never

From:

shadedsunlight

/what's there to practice? It's fine, Giles, really./

[She stops signing, goes quiet and waits for him to go on if he so chooses, giving him all the time he needs to find his words.]

From:

consultmybooks

[Giles closes his eyes, takes several deep breaths, looking as though he's in actual torment. Finally, all in a rush, he forces out the words.]

Th-The, the man who killed me is in the village, Ginia.

From:

shadedsunlight

[Ginia goes cold, forcing back the questions that flood her mind, shooting them down before she can even dare sign them. She remembers to breathe again as her hand finds his, needing a reminder he's still here, feeling all the scars and callouses of the years.]

From:

consultmybooks

[So many of those scars were put there by Angel himself, during one bad night during one bad year a lifetime ago. For a second, Giles tenses, old instincts almost making him pull away. When he settles down, however, he realizes that the reassurance of both her presence and her love in the face of all his damage is comforting.]

His name is Angel. But, um, h-he, he hasn't, not yet, he hasn't...reached that point in time, yet. W-While, while I had my penalty, I thought that was all the reason I had to hate him, but, but s-since then...

...I remember.

From:

shadedsunlight

[Ginia's hand is ready to pull away as she feels him tense, but when she relaxes, so she stays. There'd be nothing to pull her away from him anyway, not now, not ever. Giving him space, yes, but never going far.

Angel. Surprise flashes across her face. She remembers him. Spoke to him when he was a human - other times as well, though names were never exchanged - had a nice conversation even. Having a face, knowing here's here... it makes it all the more unsettling.]

From:

consultmybooks

[Giles takes a few seconds to pull himself together, to draw himself back from the memories still so raw from being so recently shoved back into place. Finally, in a voice so small and lost:]

Th-There was...god, it was so long ago, wasn't it? Th-There was a woman. At the school, where Buffy was, w-when I was a librarian. M-Must have been...nearly ten years ago, now.

Jenny.

From:

shadedsunlight

[Jenny. She remembers the name he'd said when he met her at the clinic, and there's a pang of... something she can't pinpoint. It's not jealousy, not hurt, not anger, it's just a sad uncomfortableness settling in her chest. She can already figure out where the story is going or at least where it ends up.

She also can't help reflecting on the years. Ten years ago. She'd be a woman at 21, happy, unbroken, on top of the world. Ten years was so very long ago.]

From:

consultmybooks

[He can only guess at what the sound of her name might bring up for Ginia, although his guesses are so very far off the mark, for once. And Giles feels a pang of guilt for both these women he loves before he forces himself to continue.]

I loved her, and...t-to my very great surprise, she felt the same. I was happy, with her, as much as I made an utter idiot of myself whenever she was in sight.

...but life in Sunnydale was, um, complicated. It always complicated things, and I hurt her and sh-she betrayed us, and...it shouldn't ever have worked.

From:

shadedsunlight

[In her years, Ginia's learned not to be jealous of past loves. There's always a someone, always, and it isn't as if she's free of her share of heartbreaks, disappointments, and lost loves. No, she isn't surprised or jealous. There's a lot to love about Giles, of course there'd be someone in the past.

She nods, offers a subdued smile, happy to know there was someone who was there for him then for whatever period of time.]

From:

consultmybooks

[Grateful for the silence...although he keeps having to remind himself to actually look at her...Giles continues on.]

But, um, in the end, we...reconciled, and we decided to, um, t-to give it another try, and...w-we agreed to, to, t-to meet at my apartment.

From:

shadedsunlight

[Gut feelings kick back in and Ginia can sense this is where everything changed, why he's deciding to bring this up now. Her hand seeks his back out to simply hold as he works through the past.]

From:

consultmybooks

[And, here and now, at the end, Giles can't bring himself to speak. So he doesn't.

He signs.]

/When I got home, there...there were flowers. Someone had tied a rose to the door. More inside. There was music playing, there was wine, dinner, it was...

...it was perfect./

[His hands falter, for a second Giles genuinely looks about to break.]

/I shouldn't have left her there./

From:

shadedsunlight

[Ginia frees his hand, watches his signs, his face, his body language, everything. Her breath catches in her throat as she pictures the image. Beautiful, romantic, the perfect evening for two adults.

She watches him a little longer before leaning in and giving him a gentle hug. The past can't hurt anymore, but it can can certainly haunt, and she can't banish those demons, but she can be here for him.]

From:

consultmybooks

[The embrace is returned as gently as hesitantly as though Ginia is a soap bubble that might break apart and vanish at any second. But the reminder that Ginia, at least, is still here even if Jenny isn't is enough.]

Because when I went upstairs...th-there was a note, t-telling me to, I th-thought it was from her...w-when I found her...she was...

[He takes a steadying breath and tightens his hold almost convulsively. No. He can do this. These old spectres can't hold him back anymore.]

She was dead. Angel had found her, at the school. Then he'd broken into my apartment, and arranged the entire scene.

From:

shadedsunlight

[Ginia's hold tightens, her eyes close when she hears his words. God. It's a scene no one should ever have to enter, and she hurts for him. Ginia pulls back to look at him, unable to find any words to say, to sigh.

Her hand touches his cheek. She hasn't figure out herself if it's an apology, a gesture of love, or something else, but there's understanding there.]

From:

consultmybooks

[His hand comes up to gently take hold of hers'. Shamefaced, broken, lost and hurting, he isn't at all able to find any words to say after that horrible tale either.

So he settles for an old standby.]

...s-sorry.